"Oh, yeah! CUSTOM NAME BELT BUCKLES!"
The cacophony of music faded away with a wailing, distorted electric guitar. Like they used to do in the 70's LPs.
I didn't know quite what to say to Christopher. Christopher Crunch, that is. He liked the way his stage name played off a subtle nostalgia for, yes, the 70's. He prided himself on being a combination of Christopher Cross and Capt. Crunch, whatever that meant. I didn't know what to say to him because, after all, this is the 21st Century, we were GoldMountainTrading.com, and he was living in a bygone era.
The New York Times!
"Gee, I don't know," was my feeble reply.
I was trying to sell custom name belt buckles for our family western business, Gold Mountain Trading. My folks and I agreed that custom name belt buckles were a place to focus our efforts. After decades in the fashion and accessories business, we have gotten pretty attuned to what was coming as the next hot item, and all signs pointed to custom name belt buckles as a big thing for at least the next ten years. So why not a jingle? A jingle, indeed.
"Whad'ya mean, you don't know?"
"Well, Captain tell me if I'm wrong, but I bet it wasn't exactly easy trying to fit the term 'custom name belt buckles' into a song. Am I right? I mean, 'custom name belt buckles' doesn't exactly roll off the tongue easily."
The ball was now in his court as I waited for his reply.
"You're right. Fitting 'custom name belt buckles' into a catchy jingle wasn't easy, that's for sure," he said.
"Exactly," I said.
I admit to feeling a little exasperation.
"Here's the thing, Captain Crunch-nuggets: it sounds like it was difficult. It sounds exactly like what happened; you struggled to get 'custom name belt buckles' to fit in with music. It sounds like you had to crow-bar your way in. Custom name belt buckles belt buckles are fun, and so is music. Pretty 'em together and what have you got? It's not bippty-boppity-boo! It's what we in the business world refer to as sales."
Christopher (I wonder what his real name is?) looked dejected. But I didn't care. I had paid this self-described musical dynamo a pretty penny to deliver a custom name belt buckles jingle that would actually be effective. This was business - the custom name belt buckles business, to be exact - and I wasn't about to let the sensitive feelings of a non-starving musician get in the way of our goal to make custom name belt buckles available to anyone and everyone. Viva custom name belt buckles!
The minstrel and I were seated on stools facing each other in his studio. He was wearing one of the custom name belt buckles I made up for him as part of our deal and I was wearing one of my own custom name belt buckles. He looked up at me through his sadness.
"What do I do from here?" he asked. "How do I write another custom name belt buckles song?"
"How in the heck am I supposed to know? Do I look like a musician to you? I'm a number cruncher and a pusher of custom name belt buckles. Your business is music. You are the professional."
Actually, I really didn't believe that last sentence, at least at that moment. I mean, really, how professional can one be when their response to their client is "what do I do now?" I may be the world's largest dealer of custom name belt buckles, but I'm not a psychologist. But I realized that life isn't so cut-and-dry, so I gave in to the counselor temptation and actually offered my thoughts.
"Just start writing," was my sage advice. "You know those search engine articles I write for our website, GoldMountainTrading.com? I have no clue what they are going to be about, so I just put down the first thing that comes to mind. And then I write down the next thing that flows from that. These aren't literary works of art, but they do what they're supposed to do. I just finished one today about custom name belt buckles, as a matter of fact."
"Just like that, huh?"
It wasn't much to offer, so I penned out a few lyrics:
belt buckles is who we are
Custom name belt buckles is what we do
Where do you go for custom name belt buckles?
"Can you work with this?" I asked.
The rest, of course, is history. The Captain shunned me away to work in private, and delivered within the week to GoldMountainTrading.com one heck a catchy jingle, which has now been heard by more than 20 million people. And sales of custom name belt buckles have never been better.
"I wanted to take this opportunity to thank you for all your assistance with my order. This being my first order with you has been such a pleasure. Great communication combined with great service. Gold Mountain Trading sets an example other companies should follow. I have told all my friends to visit your web site and encouraged them to buy from you. Thanks again for allowing me to have such a pleasurable shopping experience with you."