Western Belt Buckles – You Had To Be There

"You must have some western belt buckles … I mean eastern belt buckles."

Sounds crazy, I know, but it was one of those "you had to be there" situations. You see, I was plying the country-side a couple summers back, showin' our wares from here at GoldMountainTrading.com. One of the ways I get attention (hey, isn't that what every salesman wants?) is to just pull over on the shoulder of the road and put out my big, honkin' Western Belt Buckles! sign. The thing's like six foot by six foot, so people definitely see it. I usually try and do this somewhere along a tourist route so I can catch folks during their leisure time. Pretty clever, huh?

So there I was, western belt buckles in tow, somewhere northwest I think it was of Oklahoma City. The tailgate's down on my Olds F85 station wagon with the GoldMountainTrading.com sign on the sides and I got all them western belt buckles laid out pretty and nice. I've even got a bright red blanket I display them all on. It says "western belt buckles" all over it. The words "western belt buckles" are sort of faded into the background a bit, so it kinda works like a subliminal message type thing. Pretty clever, eh?

Western Belt Buckles Is What It Says On The Sign

A wiry guy with leathery skin and a thin flannel shirt (sleeves rolled up) got out of his 1974 Alfa Romeo 2000 GT and ambled on over. He looked like a cowboy but he was drivin' a classic Italian coupe. Kinda different.

"Whatcha doin' mister?" he asked.

"Sellin' western belt buckles," said I.

Kind of a strange question, considering my humungous sign. You know, the six foot by six foot sign that says "Western Belt Buckles" in big black letters?

Western Belt Buckles … Hello?

"Western belt buckles, you say?"

"Uhh … yeah. Western belt buckles, that's what I say. From GoldMountainTrading.com."

"Hmm. I heard they's a good outfit."

"Darned straight," I told him.

He stood there starin' at me sitting on the edge of the tailgate. But the strange thing was that he never once glanced at all my gorgeous western belt buckles. No gleaming flash of silver caught his eye, or even gold. And he surely didn't see the more subdued western belt buckles in antiqued brass.

"Ya got any eastern belt buckles?"

At this point I'm startin' to look around for Alan Funt and his Candid Camera. This guy can't be for real! Okay, I'll bite.

Western Belt Buckle Is What We Do

"No," I said patiently. "I don't have any of those. Western belt buckles is what I have. Western belt buckles is who I am and western belt buckles is what I do. If you're lookin' for western belt buckles, you've come to the right spot on the map," I said.

"Well that's too bad," he said. "I've been a-huntin' fer eastern belt buckles a couple years now. Sure you ain't got any o' them hidin' away somewheres in your pile o' western belt buckles? You must have some western belt buckles … I mean eastern belt buckles."

"I only have western belt buckles from GoldMountainTrading.com. But tell me, stranger, what do eastern belt buckles look like?" I asked.

"Well, they's kinda round - but not too round - and they're made o' metal and they got all kinds o' fancy doodles and dingles all over 'em. And I like 'em big, personally."

"You mean something like this?" I showed him my Saddle Bronc Buckles and his eyes lit up.

"Well, yes!" he exclaimed. "But ain't those eastern belt buckles?"

"Well, I'll tell you what, mister. I call 'em western belt buckles and everyone I know calls 'em western belt buckles. If you want to call 'em eastern belt buckles that's just fine by me."

He paid me a modest sum for all of the Saddle Bronc Buckles I had with me (on behalf of GoldMountainTrading.com) and ambled off to his sports car muttering "Momma always told me I had a bum sense o' direction."