So there I was,
western belt buckles in tow, somewhere northwest I think it was of Oklahoma
City. The tailgate's down on my Olds F85 station wagon with the GoldMountainTrading.com
sign on the sides and I got all them western belt buckles laid out pretty and
nice. I've even got a bright red blanket I display them all on. It says "western
belt buckles" all over it. The words "western belt buckles" are
sort of faded into the background a bit, so it kinda works like a subliminal
message type thing. Pretty clever, eh?
Buckles Is What It Says On The Sign
A wiry guy with
leathery skin and a thin flannel shirt (sleeves rolled up) got out of his 1974
Alfa Romeo 2000 GT and ambled on over. He looked like a cowboy but he was drivin'
a classic Italian coupe. Kinda different.
mister?" he asked.
belt buckles," said I.
Kind of a strange
question, considering my humungous sign. You know, the six foot by six foot
sign that says "Western Belt Buckles" in big black letters?
buckles, you say?"
yeah. Western belt buckles, that's what I say. From GoldMountainTrading.com."
"Hmm. I heard
they's a good outfit."
I told him.
He stood there
starin' at me sitting on the edge of the tailgate. But the strange thing was
that he never once glanced at all my gorgeous western belt buckles. No gleaming
flash of silver caught his eye, or even gold. And he surely didn't see the more
subdued western belt buckles in antiqued brass.
"Ya got any
eastern belt buckles?"
At this point I'm
startin' to look around for Alan Funt and his Candid Camera. This guy can't
be for real! Okay, I'll bite.
Buckle Is What We Do
I said patiently. "I don't have any of those. Western belt buckles is what
I have. Western belt buckles is who I am and western belt buckles is what I
do. If you're lookin' for western belt buckles, you've come to the right spot
on the map," I said.
too bad," he said. "I've been a-huntin' fer eastern belt buckles a
couple years now. Sure you ain't got any o' them hidin' away somewheres in your
pile o' western belt buckles? You must have some western belt buckles
I mean eastern belt buckles."
"I only have
western belt buckles from GoldMountainTrading.com.
But tell me, stranger, what do eastern belt buckles look like?" I asked.
kinda round - but not too round - and they're made o' metal and they got all
kinds o' fancy doodles and dingles all over 'em. And I like 'em big, personally."
something like this?" I showed him my Saddle
Bronc Buckles and his eyes lit up.
he exclaimed. "But ain't those eastern belt buckles?"
tell you what, mister. I call 'em western belt buckles and everyone I know calls
'em western belt buckles. If you want to call 'em eastern belt buckles that's
just fine by me."
He paid me a modest
sum for all of the Saddle
Bronc Buckles I had with me (on behalf of GoldMountainTrading.com)
and ambled off to his sports car muttering "Momma always told me I had
a bum sense o' direction."