Who is this Jimmy
Joe? And who is this mad Dr. Greeley who has got him so hopped up on getting
a personalized belt buckle from Gold Mountain Mining Company? This unlikely
pairing of high school dropout cum refrigerator repair man (Jimmy Joe) and quantum
physics professor emeritus Dr. Horace Y. Greeley, found themselves working together
on what would be the greatest applied physics experiment since Jodi Foster had
her kicks out there on the Galactic Route 66.
Belt Buckle at 400 Parsecs
The details of
how destiny threw them together and how this thing came to pass are not all
that important. What is important to know is that the good doctor was the brain
of the outfit and J.J. had the massive intuition (and brute physical strength)
needed to traverse 400 parsecs of interstellar nothingness.
After years of
decoding, postulating and proselytizing, it was soon known that a man of J.J.'s
specific heritage, girth and temperament was required to make the journey to
the star cluster known as Gothlinkzinschink. And he had to have a four-inch
by five-inch Montana Armor silver and gold personalized belt buckle strapped
securely around his waist. And it had to be ordered from the advanced beings
at Gold Mountain Mining Company. These were the instructions in the Slingshotters
Guide To The Galaxy (transmitted to Dr. G's cerebellum one dark winter solstice).
have to make sense," he said. "We don't care how we get to Gothilinkzinschink,
we just want to get there."
Belt Buckle - Delivered by Advanced Beings
So, the search
for a personalized belt buckle began in earnest. You might not think it would
have been much of a search because the source for The Personalized Belt Buckle
was already clearly communicated as needing to come from, as already mentioned,
the advanced beings at Gold Mountain Mining Company.
Within an hour
of his cerebral download, Dr. G was on the Web, pouring over the hundreds of
personalized belt buckle possibilities at GoldMountainMining.com. He just kinda
threw one together there on their personalized belt buckle interface but, just
before clicking the order button, thought better of it. The Brain realized that
this Jimmy Joe person (who hadn't yet met or even knew how he would meet) should
design his own personalized belt buckle. J.J would be the one doing the slingshotting,
so the personalized belt buckles should be, of course, personalized by him and
It wasn't but four
days later that J.J. arrived into Horace Y. Greeley's life, literally just showing
up at the door to the lab. He said it was like what Richard Dreyfus went through
in Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Dr. G sat J.J. down at his super-conducting
supercomputer and let him go to town in creating a personalized belt buckle
for himself there at GoldMountainMining.com.
Has a Personalized Belt Buckle
Jimmy Joe was very
excited. It turns that many of his buddies were on the southeastern rodeo circuit,
so he had seen a personalized belt buckle or two in his day. His pal Troy McAllister,
the bull riding legend, had a personalized belt buckle
plus about a dozen
more. Aloysius Loafer has a personalized belt buckle and his father, Guy Loafer
also had a personalized belt buckle. In fact, Mr. Loafer was buried wearing
his personalized belt buckle.
first," said J.J. "My personalized belt buckle - the personalized
belt buckle that will slingshot me through the stars - has to be a traditional
western style two-tone job. And it's gotta have a ton o' western filigree metalwork."
And so the job
was done. Within minutes, J.J. had ordered for himself one very fine western
intergalactic super-duper personalized belt buckle. In addition to all the goodies
he already mentioned, it spelled out in raised lettering JIMMY JOE PARKHURST
and PLANET EARTH. It had a sculpted figure of Earth featured in the center.
We at Gold Mountain
Mining Company are the only personalized belt buckle supplier in our world that
has supplied a personalized belt buckle outside the Sol system. So when you
need a personalized belt buckle, you know who to turn to
belt buckle experts at Gold Mountain Mining Company!