"This is the personalized belt buckle I want," said Jimmy Joe Parkhurst. "And that's the end of story."
J.J. was very specific
about what type of personalized belt buckle he wanted. And, even more, he let
everyone on God's green earth know that his personalized belt buckle had to
come from Gold Mountain Mining Company.
3½" x 4¼"
Who is this Jimmy Joe? And who is this mad Dr. Greeley who has got him so hopped up on getting a personalized belt buckle from Gold Mountain Mining Company? This unlikely pairing of high school dropout cum refrigerator repair man (Jimmy Joe) and quantum physics professor emeritus Dr. Horace Y. Greeley, found themselves working together on what would be the greatest applied physics experiment since Jodi Foster had her kicks out there on the Galactic Route 66.
The details of how destiny threw them together and how this thing came to pass are not all that important. What is important to know is that the good doctor was the brain of the outfit and J.J. had the massive intuition (and brute physical strength) needed to traverse 400 parsecs of interstellar nothingness.
After years of decoding, postulating and proselytizing, it was soon known that a man of J.J.'s specific heritage, girth and temperament was required to make the journey to the star cluster known as Gothlinkzinschink. And he had to have a four-inch by five-inch Montana Armor silver and gold personalized belt buckle strapped securely around his waist. And it had to be ordered from the advanced beings at Gold Mountain Mining Company. These were the instructions in the Slingshotters Guide To The Galaxy (transmitted to Dr. G's cerebellum one dark winter solstice).
"It doesn't have to make sense," he said. "We don't care how we get to Gothilinkzinschink, we just want to get there."
So, the search for a personalized belt buckle began in earnest. You might not think it would have been much of a search because the source for The Personalized Belt Buckle was already clearly communicated as needing to come from, as already mentioned, the advanced beings at Gold Mountain Mining Company.
Within an hour of his cerebral download, Dr. G was on the Web, pouring over the hundreds of personalized belt buckle possibilities at GoldMountainMining.com. He just kinda threw one together there on their personalized belt buckle interface but, just before clicking the order button, thought better of it. The Brain realized that this Jimmy Joe person (who hadn't yet met or even knew how he would meet) should design his own personalized belt buckle. J.J would be the one doing the slingshotting, so the personalized belt buckles should be, of course, personalized by him and him alone.
It wasn't but four days later that J.J. arrived into Horace Y. Greeley's life, literally just showing up at the door to the lab. He said it was like what Richard Dreyfus went through in Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Dr. G sat J.J. down at his super-conducting supercomputer and let him go to town in creating a personalized belt buckle for himself there at GoldMountainMining.com.
Jimmy Joe was very excited. It turns that many of his buddies were on the southeastern rodeo circuit, so he had seen a personalized belt buckle or two in his day. His pal Troy McAllister, the bull riding legend, had a personalized belt buckle plus about a dozen more. Aloysius Loafer has a personalized belt buckle and his father, Guy Loafer also had a personalized belt buckle. In fact, Mr. Loafer was buried wearing his personalized belt buckle.
"First thing's first," said J.J. "My personalized belt buckle - the personalized belt buckle that will slingshot me through the stars - has to be a traditional western style two-tone job. And it's gotta have a ton o' western filigree metalwork."
And so the job was done. Within minutes, J.J. had ordered for himself one very fine western intergalactic super-duper personalized belt buckle. In addition to all the goodies he already mentioned, it spelled out in raised lettering JIMMY JOE PARKHURST and PLANET EARTH. It had a sculpted figure of Earth featured in the center.
We at Gold Mountain
Mining Company are the only personalized belt buckle supplier in our world that
has supplied a personalized belt buckle outside the Sol system. So when you
need a personalized belt buckle, you know who to turn to
belt buckle experts at Gold Mountain Mining Company!
"I wanted to take this opportunity to thank you for all your assistance with my order. This being my first order with you has been such a pleasure. Great communication combined with great service. Gold Mountain Trading sets an example other companies should follow. I have told all my friends to visit your web site and encouraged them to buy from you. Thanks again for allowing me to have such a pleasurable shopping experience with you."