How to Clean Jewelry

But, ya know, we're all put here on this amazin' Earth for certain reasons, and the reasons aren't always revealed too clearly. So I guess it shouldn't a-come as too big a surprise when, out there in God's Garden, I found myself handin' out tips on how to clean jewelry!

Well, if this don't take the rag off the bush, I thought. Here was this fancy East Coast lady, hikin' along deep in the Sonoran, Donna Karan duds and all. Real nice. We recognized each other from her bein' in the store a couple days back. Now, my reputation cemented in her mind and all, she was all a-wantin' to know how to clean the heirloom ring she just inherited.

Never one to turn away another (we're all the same inside, ya know), we stood there a spell, talkin' shop. Nothin' secret about cleaning all yer pretties, I told her, just a few things ta know that'll take ya a long ways. I gave her my offerin's and she appreciated it. And I hope you do, too.

So, fer the rest a ya, here's the lowdown on keepin' yer precious gems and baubles in apple pie order:
Don't be a-wearin' fine jewelry when gardenin', doing yard work or any other type of manual labor.

• Clean yer jewelry often using jewelry cleaner, non abrasive soaps, or ammonia and water mixture.
  
  
• Soak gold and gemstones in alcohol or vodka before cleanin'. This'll loosen all the grease and films from the surfaces for a faster and nicer cleanin'.
  
  
• Small toothbrushes with a soft texture, or a soft nail brush, help remove dirt on the prongs and delicate curves of jewelry without scratchin' the surfaces.
  
  
• Silver will react with chlorine. Never take silver jewelry into pools, hot tubs, or the ocean. Aside from worryin' about the discoloration, you should think about the loss of your items at a public pool or in yer own filter system.
  
  
• Pearls are special critters. Keep 'em away from chemicals like hairspray, perfume, and detergents. To clean, use a mild soapy water solution and rinse well.
  
  
• Frequently check yer jewelry fer scratches, cracks, missing prongs or weak spots and be sure to take them baubles to a reputable jeweler fer their annual checkup. Most anything can be repaired.